Thursday, January 27, 2011

Things that bother me, the corporate edition.

I have a wonderful job. I actually do. I do love my office and the people in it. This is not to say there aren't some things that drive me batshit crazy. I like lists, so without further ado:

  1. Hang-ups. You called, my caller ID says you did. Yet after I get two words into my greeting you hang up. Why? Did my voice offend you? Were you hoping for someone else to answer? Well, I'm sorry, it's kinda my job to answer the phone so unless you catch me in the bathroom (which isn't hard to do, I go a lot)  you're gonna keep getting the same girl.
  2. STAPLES. I fucking hate staples. I hate them with a passion most people reserve for arch rivals and people with opposing views on politics or sports. I understand they are necessary for keeping things together. This can in fact be achieved with just one damn staple. Some people however, feel the need for the added security of 76286 staples, to keep two (and not even important) pieces of paper together. 
  3. My inability to use a highlighter. I'm seven years old, obviously. I come home on a daily basis looking like my hands got in a serious debate with a damn highlighter. I can't hold on to them, I can't use them properly and I'm sick of looking like I'm in kindergarten. 
  4. Paper cuts. Do I even need to explain this one? They suck and HR will not accept this as a reason to go home or file a worker's comp claim.
  5. Hang nails. Usually caused by excessive filing. See above for HR's opinion on the validity of a claim on this.

So there you have it. I know it's pointless bitching and it's really not even major. Like I said, I like my job and thankfully I don't have anything of importance to bitch about!  The fun times and lovely ladies in my office more than make up for the amount of staples I see on a daily basis.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Woeful Wednesday.

Well, it's Wednesday and that means I'm off to boot camp. I don't know what it is about paying someone to kick my ass that makes me feel better about myself. So I'm off to spend an hour doing push-ups, and mountain climbers, and fucking jumping-jacks. I get excited when we grab for the weights because that means I at least get to breathe. Then there's this progress nonsense, I mean I was perfectly content with the 3 lb weights, but now I feel the urge to go up to 5 lbs. I was happy with no risers under my step, now I have 2. Dammit man, why did I start setting goals and accomplishing them? It's simple really, it's all about payoff. I have two separate shopping trips lined up. One with Mrs. Brittany and one with Ms. Tiffany. I cannot freaking wait. I mean really, it all comes back to the fashion in the end. Especially the new shoes I'm coveting. They look painful. Apparently I am a masochist at heart.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

What's in my head? British female edition.

Let's take a looksie shall we? I'm not gonna get all 16 year old sappy emo child on you but here are a few of my absolute favorites. (subject to change w/o notice!)

Adele- Chasing Pavements. I could write a book on my love for Adele. I listen to this I can often be found driving around town with my earbuds in (yes, I'm that girl) singing this loudly. Typically dedicated to every asshat I've ever wasted time on.

Kate Nash- Merry Happy. Another one for the asshats, but with a cheery beat! I just love this, unashamedly. It's more empowering than sad and boo-hooey. Plus Kate Nash fucking rocks.

Lily Allen- Fuck You. Well for starters I like saying "Fuck you" and I say it a lot. Secondly, this song is not about stupid boys. I love everything about this song. Really, do you enjoy being small minded? Thought not.

That's it for now. Having three British women up there was totally unplanned. Those were literally the first three songs that popped into my head.


Reinvention is for the weak.

I have no intentions of "reinventing" myself. Quite frankly, I adore myself, really, I do. I'm embarking on a quest to become the best version of myself to date (I'm aware, corny with a capital C). Hence the new blog, the new habits and the new priorities. I'm numero uno these days. I happen to like it this way and I'm really not sure why I didn't do this sooner. I see no reason to become a completely new person or embrace some new, fetching persona of what I think I should be like. So here I am, working away, making my life a better one.  Onward with the interesting stuff!!